No one asks to be a single parent. We don’t lie in bed as kids dreaming of the day when we will be the sole provider of our future children. But low and behold, many of us have found ourselves in that situation. There are so many circumstances that can lead us into solo parenting, and there are more often than not many real challenges, hurts and traumas that exist as a result of that process.
However…I love that word. It is used to introduce a statement that contrasts with or seems to contradict something that has been said previously or existed. You may be raising your children alone however I believe that both you and your kids carry a mighty destiny and incredible future together! It may be tough and you may be exhausted however you are more than a conquer and with the right mindset and tools you can be equipped to not just survive but thrive. Yes, the challenges are real, but luckily so are the rewards.
It is not about being, becoming or even aspiring to be the perfect parent. It is about learning and growing each and every day. It is about being willing to put in the hard work to best position our children so they can be all they were created to be. It is about doing your best every single day, and even when our best doesn’t seem to be enough, be willing to try again the next day.
If we are not careful, carrying the title of single parent can mean we discount ourselves, and more heartbreaking, discount our children because the picture isn’t perfect. We can too easily carry the victim label which will ultimately affect every facet of our lives. However (there is that word again!) when we bring a higher perspective, believing in ourselves, our kids and our parenting it will help you see past the disadvantages, the stigmas, the snotty noses and temper tantrums to be able to see the remarkable strong men and women that your kids are created to be.
Let me encourage you, that even if you are drowning under to-do lists, school runs, laundry piles and feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, you are the right person for the job in raising those kids! You are amazing. Your kids are beautiful. You are capable. Your kids have purpose and potential.
You are not just a single parent. You just happen to be a parent who is single right now. And you know what? You are an exceptionally good parent. I know how hard it is doing what you are doing. Yet you haven’t given up or thrown in the towel or shipped your children off to some faraway land. You are loving them, protecting them, providing for them, believing in them. And that, my friend, makes you a hero.
Here are five keys to boosting your perspective on parenting solo right now:
Kristy Quaziz is the author of Doing it Solo and the incredible newly wed wife of Philippe, mom to Max and two beautiful step-kids. You can purchase her book here: